Hello 2016 !

Bye 2015 ;)

Hey guys! Happy New Year :) Today marks page 1 of 366 :D The reason why i decided to do this blogpost is because 2015 has been quite a hectic year for me i guess.. ( i didn't say this in my instagram caption xD ) I honestly wish 2016 will be a better year.. Let's get started on this post!

2015 was the year i realised who was really there for me and who wasn't. When i went 'emo' during some period of time,those who liked me to be 'hyper and high' left my side. Those who cared, they messaged me whenever i typed a 'very emo' caption on my instagram post. I can only say, the number of people who cared was less than 3 and still decreasing. Still decreasing...,why? Idk..sometimes people just grew further apart from one another.. I saw quotes that relate to my situation here.

^ dedicated to person 'X' 

I was drowning in my pit of negativity and no one was there. No one knew actually. I was there wondering "Was i destined to not have a best friend for the rest of my life?", "Was choosing this school a right choice? Was it worth it to travel 1 hour on bus back home every school day? ".
Now people are wondering why did i choose cchy in the first place if i knew i was going to regret it. When i was primary 6 with a t-score of 232, i wanted to go to ngee ann secondary (t-score 237) However i was posted to spring field secondary with a t-score of 180+ for express stream. How was this fair to me?! Cchy accepted my appeal on the day i was about to go for some choir audition at temasek secondary. So yea.. I wasn't left with much choice.. Dunman secondary only accepted my appeal after cchy accepted mine.. Back to the topic, i was the only one among my friends who live in the east and during outings, they will choose somewhere closer to them for example, Jurong, Woodlands. I never get to travel home with my friends because they travel the opposite direction from me. .. It's tiring being lonely most of the time..

During 2015,I failed math for the first time in 14 years during common test 1. It left me broken. Math is my favourite subject. It's as if your crush just rejected you, that's how i felt. I didn't fail math since then and i wanna keep it that way for 2016 as well. My results for other subjects were horrible too. Mostly B4 or C5. The pathetic thing was that the only subjects i got an A1 were D&T, Art and FCE. I was failing English most of the time.. My science result just met the double science critetia ON THE DOT which meant that it was still risky that i might not get to take double science (but thank god i could in the end :'))

2015 was a tiring year, so much negativity. Based on my experience, all i can say is..
IT'S ALWAYS YOUR CHOICE to be happy or not ! When i mean by happy, it's not fake smiling but genuinely smiling. :) Easier said than done, i know. But look at the postive side of everything. If you get rejected, remember that "When a door closes, another one opens." It's your destiny. If you don't get chosen, then it means it's meant to be that way! For 2016, YOU decide whether you want your story to be in black&white or full of colours! 


-Berlynn aka Bearlynn :)